Basketball Coach Sees Something In 7’3” High School Sophomore

http://www.theonion.com/articles/basketball-coach-sees-something-in-73-high-school,31599/

Basketball programs are often judged by how well they scout talent and the amount of star-power their incoming recruits have. Recruiting players based on height or race has always been a highly controversial issue. These monstrous teenagers are the hypothetical gold mine for college/high school scouts, and this article depicts the stereotypical coach's approach. Kelvyn Park high school basketball coach Keith Burris reportedly "sees something" in 7'3" sophomore Adrian Patton. Burris sarcastically quoted, "I can't put my finger on it, but there's definitely something special about that kid." The satire throughout this article is comedic gold. Not only does the writer show how self-empowering these coaches are and how they believe they are "amazing" scouts, but also points out their flaws. Any human being with a minuscule sense of logic would know that a player as tall as 7'3" would be strategically placed near the basket for minimal-effort, easy points. The coach wants to "try him as a shooter," but not all hope is lost because he has a "hunch" that he will thrive in the low post. As a basketball player, enthusiast, and dedicated fan, the sarcasm and satire present throughout the article was throughly enjoyed and highly appreciated.